My last knock and my forceful entry were enough to make me feel bad already.
However, witnessing the aftermath of Sayori’s suicide was just too much.
Is this a nightmare? Is everything just a dream?
In some way, it feels like some cruel god is playing a game. And we’re all just pawns.
Sayori was my best childhood friend. She’s never shown any depression. She may lack self-esteem, but she’s never
one to selfishly throw away her life or consider herself unfit for the love of others.
Her last words to me were to help Yuri make sure we get everything from decorations, mood, and the poetry performance in full color. As vice-president of the Literature Club, she did her duty very well.
I’m so sorry Sayori. I’m so sorry…
I couldn’t stop crying. Why can’t I care for my childhood friend?
Why did I say that she was just my dearest friend all throughout my life?
However, that wasn’t a lie. I did like someone else.
I don’t know if I had slept a day after the incident. In fact, it feels like it’s deja vu. I’m walking to school, alone. I don’t have any clubs that I can join.
However, there’s this tugging feeling that I somehow belonged to one of the clubs.
Then, this attractive girl walks right by my side.
She then walks in front of me and flashes that smile that could win any boy’s heart.
Class Star Monika was there looking at me with her green beautiful eyes. Her coral brown hair shining beautifully.
I wonder what she wants with someone as common.
“Hey there!” her pretty voice says to me. “Do you have a club you’ve already joined?”
“Hey Monika! Good morning.” I try to smile as best I can. I’m bad at this.
“No, I haven’t yet. In fact, I’m not sure whether to join a club this year again.”
Monika frowned. “Again, huh?”
Then her face brightened.
“Why not change all that?” She beamed at me. “I’m starting a new club!
“I’ve always wanted to explore my love for wordplay and poetry, so I’ve begun a Literature club. There’s already three members including myself, and we need just one more to make it an official school club!”
Haven’t I heard this before?
She looked at the ground with a mirthless smile. “I was wondering if you’d like to check out my club.”
I kept looking at her. Monika wants me to join her club, huh? Class star Monika, why me?
Her face brightened to a smile again. “We also have cupcakes!”
Sigh. Her eyes were telling me ‘please, pretty please just drop by?’
And what lower classman can say no to a pretty senpai like her?
Today, I sold my soul to Monika and her bright smile much like how I’ve sold my soul to the girls in Free Cam. It doesn’t matter if there’s vested interest involved, but who gets to spend time with a girl like her? Someone who joins her club of course.
I’m not sure if it was me, but on the way to the classroom, the colors are changing. Some bright static appears within the blink of an eye. In fact, I’m not sure if I remember the format of the halls. They all look the same.
The more puzzling feeling was, why does it feel it’s just the four of us in this school? Everyone’s always in class? Right?
After Monika slid open the door, I saw two girls. One was a purple-haired girl who looked shyly at me, yet she’s the tallest, yet shapeliest, of them all. Another was a petite-framed, pink-haired girl with a singular hair clip.
“Hello everyone!” the two stand up!
“Way to kill the mood, Monika” the pink-haired girl said.
Why do I feel this has happened before?
Monika’s appearance looked anxious yet still smiling.
“You brought a boy along with you.”
“Eh,” Monika worryingly smiled. “We’re still short of a fourth member, so I brought him along.”
“Why does it have to be a boy?”
Monika looks at me. “This is Natsuki!”
They both looked at me.
Natsuki glares at me, curiosity and unfounded aggressiveness in her eyes.
“If you’re just here to eat cupcakes and not join the club, I’m gonna beat you.”
A familiar feeling washes over me. This awkwardness. The parallelism is too much to mistake as a new experience.
It feels as if time had reset itself somehow.
I nod to Natsuki with an awkward smile.
“And that is Yuri.” Monika points with her open hand to the purple haired girl, who began walking towards me.
“So great to meet you.” She said. A familiar feeling again. A similar circumstance.
“We would be so happy to welcome you to the club!” She looks downwards, shyly.
“You see, we don’t get too many new members around…”
“Yet!” said Monika, again with her anxious smile. I guess starting a club can really be very difficult.
“We’re planning something big for the festival this year! But before that, we need to be recognized as a club.
Yuri looks at me. “Would you like to have some tea?”
“Yes, and thank you!” I said. “But wait, you have a tea set in this classroom?”
Why does my response feel canned or something? This strange and consistent deja vu is just odd. There is no such thing as a detailed deja vu.
“Yes of course! The faculty gave us permission. I’ll be right back”
The tall girl goes to the other desk and fills four cups for all of us.
Meanwhile, Natsuki goes to her desk.
“Okay, I’m not going to delay this further. Ta-dah!”
She opens the tray she brought to reveal amazing delicious cupcakes.
Why did I feel suddenly solemn and discorded? As if someone was to make a response but no one did in this
particular time and space?
I knew someone loved the cupcakes way more than Monika and I expressed.
I continue eating the delicious homemade confectionery.
Yuri tells me about her book, “A Portrait of Markov,” which has an ominous-looking eye in the cover. She’s a warm yet shy girl. When I shared my poem to her, she gave me specific points I can improve.
The strange thing is, ever since yesterday, everything I’m feeling is like a loop.
Monika was late today. Piano classes, she said. Class star Monika, as expected. You are not just beautiful. You are perfect, but you’re way out of my league.
“Want some tea to read with me?” Yuri said.
Read with you? Wait, what?
I blushed. Yet another parallel feeling to something.
“Okay!” Yuri said. “I’ll just head out and get hot water from the other room.”
Yuri had a smile on her face when she left.
Monika approached me. “What happened? Did you drive her away?”
What an obnoxious accusation.
“Ah no.” I said, smiling. “She just went to get some tea for both of us.”
Monika smiled her million-dollar smile. “Okay then! Glad you’re enjoying the club with us!”
Was it just me, or did Monika’s eyes twitch for a split second?
Was it also just me, or did Natsuki teleport from one part of the room to the closet without walking?
Somehow, something feels really, really, really off.
It’s like there’s some sinister force dragging something into everything.