You can say I’m an idiot. I mean, everyone already calls me dumb because I am. I know that I’m not because I’m strong and capable. But, maybe each person has a stupid side.
Mine is to deny someone the satisfaction that you have heard their confession for so long. Now that is a great character deficiency that I think is sometimes artificial on my end.
Artificial, meaning I tend to block out these things from going in my head especially when things, like saving the entire universe and defending the village, comes first before anything else.
But, I can deny those feelings just for myself. It’s just that it is more painful to deny it from someone else. Especially if that someone is worried sick about you being more than you care yourself.
I’m so lucky that during the Wars, Hinata wasn’t killed. I knew pain tortured her and gave her a painful death. Then, Pain revived everyone who had died during the war; that in itself was a lucky streak.
However, that also meant Hinata didn’t want to leave this planet yet, even though the person she most loves has denied her those feelings.
I am forever thankful for the incidents that took place after the Wars were over; if it weren’t for them, then Hinata would have been lost forever to me.
I would never have realized that I loved her too.
According to Sakura, I am not to blame. Growing up without parents, it can be difficult to understand what love is. Sakura even pointed out being bullied by the others, including herself, had added to the feeling that I had to prove myself.
I won’t deny it; I really did feel the need to prove myself. It was why I wanted to become a Hokage to protect the village. To prove that the once fearful Kurama, locked inside of me, is under full control. I also needed to know if I was really stronger than my rival, Sasuke.
In the end, Sakura showed me that loving Sasuke was the right way to abate his anger. Even if the village had labeled him a criminal, Sakura showed me that the way was not to fight fire with fire always, but to douse the fire with something soothing. I think that was common sense, but it wasn’t for me.
Hence, I quickly visited Hinata after the Wars and Pain. She deserved to hear from me the feelings I have, now that I have realized them.
I didn’t know what it was called. At first, it was because Hinata was quite similar to me; she felt like no one would defend her. And I, being a stronger person, can defend someone like her. In a way, she taught how to become a decent human being.
When I’m with her, I resonated with her. Even if I tried to win Sakura’s heart, it didn’t have the similar resonation and clarity that I feel when I’m with Hinata. The problem with me is I was so dense to these emotions. But who can blame me; I can’t even consider myself troubled by it at the very least because I had to do some saving-the-planet.
This entire deal about feelings and Sakura’s statement taught me a great deal about human emotion. That I shouldn’t discount them. While I might not know the love of parents to their children, I can always know that care and comfort is the love a stranger can show to another.
I’m quite thankful to Sakura too. Telling me these things at a crucial moment where both Hinata and I realize our feelings truly helped me put things in perspective — that I can become a loving person, not just a powerful Hokage of the clan.
I sat by her in the hospital. She was still recovering from her injuries and probably felt a little shaky from everything.
“How are you feeling?”
She looked at me, her eyes glowing. She softly smiled.
“I’m quite alright. I think I didn’t even suffer anything.”
“Yeah” I said. Pain had an undo spell that even removes the suffering, but not the memory.
He can never erase what I’ve done to Hinata.
“About what I said, Naruto, I…”
I held her hand. Acting on impulse, she withdrew it.
“You and I both know that I’m an egg-headed dense person.” I began.
She still stared at me.
“I don’t know what this feeling really is. I mean, I grew up without anyone to teach me what human relations are. All I understood was to get stronger to prove myself. If it meant protecting people, then I’ve done myself and other people a great deal.”
She still looked blankly at me.
“Ever since we sat together in class and talked to each other, I just wanted to protect you. Namely, because it’s proof to myself that I’m stronger than anyone else because I can protect a weak person.”
At this point, her eyes narrowed a bit, but she let me continue talking.
“But it wasn’t just because I see you as weak. We grew up together. I have seen you become better in many ways. You are not someone in need of saving. In fact, you’re stronger than me because you know what your feelings are.
“I’m not like the rest of you. I was born cursed or blessed with a power I can’t yet understand. I lost my parents. I was raised by an entire village, kept in check with training and getting better at controlling my myself.
I looked at her and leaned closer.
“Hinata, it was only through you that I knew what this feeling is. It is genuine. When you gave your life to stop Pain, it was the moment in my life I realized I was the stupidest and weakest person I know.”
She looked at me.
“All I’m trying to say is that I’m…”
She leaned closer. Our lips met.
She held my head with her soft hands. We leaned back a little bit, looked at each other.
“Naruto,” she said. “I know. I know.”
This time, our lips met and never parted for a very long time. The caresses of these areas were at first confusing to myself. Until I had realized the pleasure of doing it. I felt the genuine emotions that flowed through a simple act of meeting each other’s lips and introducing pleasure to the other.
Hinata slowly removed my vest. I held her head, never letting go of her lips. Underneath the sheets, I saw she had no injuries on her naked body. Thank whoever is powerful enough to care about my chances at life.
Hinata looked at me. Smiled. Flushed.
“I’m one of the happiest persons in this world that you saved, right now.”
“Then, I’m the second one.”
I laid her gently on the bed. Her natural scent introduced a different sensation, something better than the adrenaline of a well-fought battle. It was the sensation of pleasure. Hinata’s hand held my head close, allowing my lips to meet the back of her neck.
Instinctively, I ran my lips from her neck down to her collarbone. A new type of noise — or rather music to my ears. Hinata’s voice seemed to purr with pleasure. Her eyes were closed.
She is pleased. I continued to kiss her, down to her ample chest and the tips of her breasts. I never had any curiosities about the female anatomy, not until know. As if I knew what to do, I held both in my hands and gently applied pressure.
I think I have plenty of things to know about what it’s like to live without fighting.
Hinata pushed me gently, cueing for me to sit upright, and then to lie down. She removed my bottom clothing and underclothes. I was stripped. I was the only one who saw me stripped.
She took the most sensitive part of my lower body and held it in her hands. She gently moved her fingers around its tip down to its root.
Right now, I feel pathetic, but at the same time excited, for uttering a sound I had never heard myself do. But it felt so good.
Suddenly, I felt an explosion of feelings. She ran her lips from the tip to the root. I can feel her caressing me with different pressures all over.
When she enclosed upon myself, I did not feel pathetic about the sound I made. I felt paralyzed, but at the same time, alive. It also felt hot. She began slowly; I can feel each sliding motion. Then, when she went faster, I couldn’t help but make these sounds. It felt so different, so powerful, yet so soothing.
Then, suddenly, she stopped.
“Naruto,” she said. “I want you.”
She lied down again, as if she was sleeping. She opened her legs. As if it was pre-programmed in myself, I knew this part had to go into this part of her, her womanhood.
I could not find the word to describe the warmth and moistness of the feeling that enveloped my entire being. It felt better as I kept moving.
Imitating her motions, I started slowly, then faster. Each motion brought a different satisfaction. Is this what they call love? Is this what passion is aside from fighting and getting stronger?
Regardless of what it is, this is one of the things worth saving in this universe.
The act becomes more and more pleasurable as we continued onwards. Hinata kept moving faster, then slower, then faster.
It was when we both decided to go faster that I felt an explosion in that part of me that I never expected to have such power.
I felt weakened. However, it was a good kind of feeling. I felt my head was heavy. As if she knew it would happen, Hinata caught my head and laid it gently on her chest.
“Are you happy?”
“This feeling is foreign to me” I said. Indeed, it was.
“But I am very happy I am sharing it with you.”
I can feel her smile even as she held my head close to her chest.
“I always knew you didn’t say the things you really felt; you did them.”
My turn to smile. I locked my arms around her. I’m one of the luckiest people in this universe indeed.
It was probably this physical feeling and emotions that brought me to life. It was likely these emotions that my parents shared together. While I may not know how my parents could have loved me, I’m happy that I can have a chance to raise someone like myself, and be a parent to them too.
Hinata looked at me. “What are you thinking of?”
“You.” I said. “And maybe producing something out of our feelings.”
She smiled. “You really want that with me?”
“Only you from the rest of the world.”